Michael Rothschild

Undersea life is often painted up in fancy colors.  By comparison - except for a few flamingos and peacocks - topside life seems drab and muted.  But “ornamental” implies design without functional benefit, and evolution doesn’t do that.  If a creature is ornate, it’s not for art’s sake; those details make it more likely that there will be more of them in the future.  Here are some critters from the waters off New Jersey that Charles Darwin decided would look better in stylish outfits.
 
Figure 1 is a feather blenny sporting a bright blue spot, much to the envy of his girlfriend (females don’t have this).  The crab in figure 2 - like many residents of Jersey Shore towns - has indulged in a little glow-up, adorning his carapace with stuff found on the bottom.  Decorator crabs do this for camouflage, and this guy needs more mussels.  Figure 3 is the eye of a skate.  Apparently, these frills in the pupil are also for camouflage, hiding the more visible eyes from prey and predators.  And figure 4 is a gorgeous hydroid.  Although it looks like a plant, this is actually a sessile invertebrate, the favorite food of similarly flamboyant nudibranchs.